When two people fall inn love there is something in their conscious and their unconscious minds that makes the right chemicals in their brain to mix, and that creates the positive and good feeling called love. Well, that’s the things that happen in the brain, but maybe the most interesting thing is WHY these sorts of things happen. Why is the unconscious mind sending these messages to the different systems our brain consists of? What triggers this response in a person’s brain?

The answer is attraction. When we see somebody that is corresponding to our inner being and our inner sense and picture of what our perfect girl- or boyfriend should look, think and behave like, the triggers in our mind that starts the chemical mixing and sends a message from the unconscious to the different systems in our brain are being pushed. We all have these triggers inside us.

Let us take an example:
You are sitting in a restaurant, waiting for your food. Everywhere you look you can see people eating and enjoying their food. All the smells around you is making your mouth water.

What is basically happening when you are in this situation, is that the food you see around you, combined with the smell and the expectation of what your food will taste like is triggering the right triggers in your mind, and makes the brain “say” to the different glands in your mouth that they should now begin producing spit. Maybe your mouth started to water just by reading this to, if you read very slowly and visualized at the same time? Well, it is all the same things happening. Visualization is a great way of making a good feeling appear inside you, but that is all part of a different subject.

So, if all the qualities you are looking for in a person is, or seems to be, in the person that you are attracted by at the moment, you will fall in love. It happens as an automated response that is built inside you. Actually, you can change these triggers as much as you like to. If you are in a very relaxed state of mind, also called a trance, your unconscious mind is more open for suggestions than when you are at full consciousness. There is many different types of trance, and they are built up of different brain activities and brainwaves. Alfa brainwaves (light trance that you experience many times a day), beta brainwaves (deeper trance that occurs right before you slip in to the next state or right before you fall asleep) and theta- and delta brainwaves (a deep state of mind where you can change habits and be hypnotized to think you are an elephant).

I.e. you can say to yourself that you want to quit smoking. Will that do the trick? I don’t think so. But if you are in a trance (either beta or delta), your subconscious will be much more open for suggestions. With a professional hypnotist that know how to use different techniques and different talking patterns, you can get the unconscious mind to either change or “erase” the trigger that is creating your addiction to nicotine. This can ease the process of quitting, or make you quit instantly.

So that’s why you are feeling the great feeling called love. That’s why you are experiencing butterflies each time you are with that special someone. It is very important to respect other people and what they are looking for in a person. Maybe they don’t want the opposite sex, or maybe looks does not mean so much to them. Never EVER harass somebody just because they are not having the same triggers that you have.

The qualities I personally is looking for in the opposite sex is looks and personality. Of course looks are not THAT important, but I think that a girl should look nice. The personality is the thing that is important to me. I have the perfect girlfriend! She has made my life so much more interesting, so flavored. I know that she is the person that I am going to live with for the rest of my life. She does not only have the looks, but she also has a fantastic personality. She is sweet, kind, smart and can make you happy on a cloudy day just like that. Her beautiful personality is not covering, but rather emphasizing the fact that she as good looks. I just love her with all of my heart, and I still feel like I just fell in love with her. When I think about her I still feel the triggers being pushed, and the chemicals mixing. We are perfect for each other, and will always be together.

Tor André Sandum © 2008